"Ten German Bombers..." Credit: Justin Tallis//Pool/AFP/ Getty

I confess to being a serial blubber. Weddings, funerals, football matches, my child’s first haircut — it doesn’t take much for the taps to turn on. But the thing that really gets me going is singing. The very act of creating a harmonised sound with a group of people, especially when the words themselves are expressive of some deeper commitment; there is something about it that overwhelms me.
Singing is often where our emotions come closest to the surface. It’s a sort of spiritualised non-carnal version of communal sex. But as with sex, we’re now told that singing is a dangerous because it involves the potential transmission of small droplets of spittle thrown into the air, risking communal infection.
Of course, none of this stopped the 40,000 England fans at Wembley on Tuesday evening. The popular “Ten German Bombers” might have been banned by the FA, but the fans sang it anyway. So too endless renditions of “Three Lions” and “Sweet Caroline”, without even a modicum of social distancing.
In church, however, the voice of praise has mostly fallen silent. Cowed by a desire to be overly compliant with every jot and title of Government instruction, Britain’s churches have come to resemble mausoleums. We’re advised that our worship must become an internal matter of the heart and that if singing is absolutely necessary, it must be conducted by a professional choir only.
But churches like mine don’t have the money for a professional choir. And I fail to see how the respiratory secretions of an amateur choir are any more dangerous than those of a professional one.
On Tuesday evening, after the match, I quietly celebrated Mass in church, without singing. While at prayer, we were being enthusiastically serenaded by the celebrations of a very different kind of communion in the pub over the road. I concede, given that our church was flattened by the Luftwaffe on the first night of the Blitz, I was not all that horrified at the thought of the RAF shooting down German bombers. No, the irritating thing about it was more visceral: others were allowed to sing while we were being silenced.
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